


Catharsis.

by fxlminare



Series: BELLAMY BLAKE COLLECTION [52]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Met on the Ark Station (The 100), Bellamy Blake Has Feelings, Bellamy Blake fanfiction, Bellamy Blake is Adorable, Childhood Friends, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Nerd Bellamy Blake, POV Alternating, POV Bellamy Blake, Soft Bellamy Blake, The Ark Station
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23785453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxlminare/pseuds/fxlminare
Summary: "Bellamy and reader are on the ark, (maybe it's the reader's birthday or some holiday) and she and Bellamy are in love with each other but don't know. They're spending the day together and Bellamy slips up saying something super cute revealing his feelings for her? I'll leave the ending in your hands (also at the end maybe a flash-forward of their future together??)"
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Reader
Series: BELLAMY BLAKE COLLECTION [52]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110968
Kudos: 9





	Catharsis.

**Author's Note:**

> ****
> 
> **A/N:** I cannot tell you how much joy writing this brought to my heart.

**BELLAMY'S POV**

I had it all planned for that day, from the moment I woke up to when I'd inevitably have to go to bed. It was Y/N's birthday and I had been thinking of what to do for months now; there weren't that many things we could do in our side of the Ark but I knew just the way to make her enjoy every second of her day. At least I hoped I could. I had asked her parents if they'd mind me stealing her for the day and they had agreed on the condition I'd bring her back home early and that she'd have breakfast with them; I had agreed, knowing that'd give me enough time to make sure it all when according to plan.

I wasn't sure when exactly I had fallen for Y/N but I certainly didn't regret it; everything about her was... special, she made me feel like I was special, like I mattered, like I did have a place in our ship; she made me feel like, no matter what, I'd always fit with her and I was so grateful for that. We had met years ago and I had been immediately drawn to her, to her powerful aura, to the happiness she radiated, the calm that seemed to always surround her. And she seemed to have liked me too for we had become really good friends in a matter of weeks. I had told her about Octavia a year after I met her and, since then, she had been taking care of her with me, bringing her food and toys and books that she, somehow, sneaked from the library. God, I loved her.

\- "Bell!" -Octavia ran up to me- "You going to see Y/N now?"

\- "Yes."

\- "Can you give her this from me and wish her a happy birthday in my name?"

\- "We could make a stop in our day for you to tell her yourself." -I smiled- "Would you like that?"

\- "Yes, I really like Y/N." -she nodded profusely- "Don't mess it up."

Before I could ask her what she meant, she moved back into the room, leaving me there to think about it. I was not going to ruin Y/N's day, I'd die before allowing that to happen. I looked at myself in the mirror, combing my hair back, looking at my informal clothes, wishing I could do better than that.

\- "You know Y/N doesn't care about that, Bellamy."

My mother's voice took me by surprise, seeing her standing beside me through the mirror; she had loved Y/N since the moment she met her. She had been a bit reticent regarding whether or not Y/N should know about O but, considering how I felt about her and hoping to tell her at some point and wishing she felt the same way about me, I knew she'd eventually find out. She deserved to know. She deserved to know what came with dating me. If she ever wanted to date me.

\- "Wish her a happy birthday from me, will you?"

I nodded as she moved back to the room, to keep Octavia hidden while I got out to make my way towards Y/N's. My hands were sweating already and I had just gotten out of the house. As I stood in front of her door, I took a couple of long, deep breaths, looking around me, glad there was no one to see me this way. _Here we go._ I knocked twice on the door, taking a step back and waiting for the door to open.

\- "Bell!" -Y/N opened the door, smiling shyly at me- "What...?"

\- "Happy birthday, Y/N."

I wasn't sure what took over me but I took a step forward, taking her face in my hands and leaving a soft kiss on her cheek, moving back and watching her raise her hand to where my lips had previously been, biting her lower lip.

\- "Thank you, Bell."

\- "Y/N? Is that Bellamy?"

\- "Yes, mom!" -Y/N turned around, it looked like her mom was motioning her to do something before she turned to look at me- "Come in."

\- "Actually..."

\- "Bellamy Blake, come inside."

Y/N's father called for me, my eyes widening for a second, Y/N chuckling as she looked at me, grabbing my arm and pulling me inside with her. I had been there hundreds of times, studying late with Y/N, spending time together, helping her or coming to look for her help, having seen her parents just as many times. Still, when her father called for me, I felt my soul leave my body. I gulped as I stood there, Y/N having moved to the kitchen with her mom and leaving me alone with her father. It didn't go as bad as I thought it'd go; he simply reminded me to treat Y/N like she deserved and to bring her back before curfew. But then, he whispered something else before Y/N joined us again.

\- "Take care of my daughter, cadet; if you're not willing to do everything required to be with her, then don't bother."

\- "I'd do anything for Y/N, sir."

\- "Don't break her heart."

I furrowed my eyebrows for a moment but Y/N's chuckle quickly made me forget about that awkward interaction, pulling me to the kitchen and offering me a piece of the cake her mom had made.

\- "Will you stay for a bit or you have plans?" -Y/N sat beside me, finishing her share of the cake.

\- "I actually have plans with you."

\- "Wait, we do?" -she dropped her fork- "Did I forget?"

\- "No." -I chuckled, seeing her mom nodding at me- "I made sure, with the help of your parents, that you'd have the day free because I have plans for your day."

\- "You didn't have to."

\- "Yes, I do."

\- "Alright, let me grab my jacket."

She shoved the last cut of cake into her mouth before running to her room, making me laugh, shaking my head as I ate my own.

\- "Thank you." -Y/N's mom squeezed my shoulder.

\- "It's nothing."

\- "But it is." -she gave me a knowing look- "You're a good man, Bellamy Blake. I'm glad my daughter has you."

\- "Always."

I smiled just as Y/N came out again, standing next to me, looking at my plate with cake still on it. I chuckled, pointing at it with my head, her hand quickly grabbing one of the bites left as I took the other. And then, her birthday plans with me started.

\- "You do realize I'd be happy just walking around with you, right?" -she finally spoke as we wondered around the Ark- "Like, I don't need you to make anything fancy or waste anything on me."

\- "Nothing I do for you is a waste, Y/N." -I shook my head- "But, since I know you like just walking around talking, we are going to the market to watch and have deep conversations."

\- "I'm really happy doing just that."

And that was exactly what we did for what was left of our morning, walking around the trading posts, even sneaking into the other stations to see what they had there, hiding from the guards and laughing together. God, she made me so happy. We watched as the privileged worried about the rocks handing on their necks and belts, laughing at how shallow they were; deep down I wished I could give Y/N that life, a life in which rations weren't a daily worry for us, a life in which she could just walk around a room full of books without worrying of keeping them for too long, getting lost in the stories as I'd watch her from my place next to her in our living room. But that wasn't our life and it'd never be.

\- "Okay, we have to make a stop."

\- "Okay." -she pointed in front of me- "After you."

\- "We're going to my room, you know the way." -I pulled her to walk beside me.

I knew my mom had left by now and Octavia would be in her hiding spot but, still, I was careful as we got inside, making sure she was nowhere to be seen and that no one could see inside as we entered, quickly closing the door as Y/N already was opening the hole in the ground to take O out.

\- "Y/N!" -she giggled, practically jumping onto her- "Happy birthday!"

\- "Thank you, O." -Y/N hugged her back before O pulled back, grabbing something from her hiding spot and moving it behind her back.

\- "Close your eyes and put your hands in front of you."

Y/N didn't hesitate. Seeing them like that filled my chest with warmth; they were my family, unconventional, but mine. I moved to the kitchen as I heard Y/N and O talking, the first one being absolutely taken aback my her present and the latter completely amused at Y/N's reaction. If I didn't know Octavia was my sister, I'd have sworn they were the ones actually blood-related. Since we were already there, I decided the best idea was to have lunch together before I took Y/N to grab her birthday present; I was really excited for it and I hoped she'd be too.

\- "So, what will you be doing later?"

\- "Yeah, what's our plan for the afternoon?"

Both looked at me with curious eyes, unable to fight the smile on my face as I grabbed their plates, ignoring their protests as I told them it was a secret. Octavia tried to bribe me by saying she'd be stuck here as Y/N promised to cover her ears so that O could know. I gave in, taking O to the other side of the room, making sure Y/N had her ears covered and explaining to Octavia what my idea was. I had to cover O's mouth so that she wouldn't start yelling about my plan, shaking my head as she simply gave Y/N a thumbs up.

\- "Okay, so it's a cool plan. Then I'll go."

\- "You were going to ditch me?" -I walked up to her, crossing my arms over my chest, pretending to be more offended than I actually was- "Cute."

\- "I was not." -she pulled on my arms- "I just needed to make sure it wasn't something that could get you in trouble."

\- "You mean 'us'."

\- "Oh, I don't mind trouble for me, I do for you and your clean slate as a recruit, Blake. Can't have you breaking the rules now, can I?"

\- "You do realize we broke at least three rules this morning, right?"

\- "Yeah, but that was before lunch." -she shrugged her shoulders- "Doesn't count."

I couldn't help but bust out laughing, seeing how serious she was about that timing of hers, shaking my head as I wondered what exactly I had done right in my life to have someone like her in it. After a couple more minutes with O, we said goodbye, knowing my mom would be back soon so that she wouldn't have to be in her hiding spot for long.

\- "You going to tell me where we are going now?"

\- "No, just follow me."

\- "Alright, cadet Blake, at your service."

\- "Is that right?"

\- "It was taking you too long to sport that smirk of yours." -she smiled, raising a playful eyebrow my way- "I was starting to think you were dropping it."

\- "I would never."

\- "Good, cause I like it."

I choked on my saliva as she kept moving like she hadn't just implied anything; maybe she hadn't and this was just me reading into it. I shook my head. _Today is about her, not about you, Bellamy, focus._ It didn't take us long to get where I was taking her, seeing the hesitation in her step right before she stopped, shifting on her feet for a moment.

\- "Bellamy, no." -she faced me.

\- "Y/N, yes."

\- "I can't let you do that."

\- "On me," -I smiled, making her turn around and walk inside the library- "come on, pick one."

\- "But..."

\- "It's your birthday." -I chuckled softly, letting go of her shoulders which allowed her to turn around to look at me with guilty eyes- "Don't make me repeat myself."

\- "Fine, but you choose." -I furrowed my eyebrows as I carefully watched her- "If this is my birthday present, you should also be the one picking the book." -she smiled- "Impress me."

I had lend Y/N all my books, shared too all the ones I had read myself since we met, or most of them so I was running out of options: the classics we had read together, Shakespeare and Poe, Mary Shelly and even more modern stuff like Atwood's. Now, this was a hard task if I ever had any. I walked through the library's corridors with Y/N by my side, racking my brains, trying to think of something she'd enjoy, something that wasn't tragic but that wasn't just something you could read without thinking for I knew Y/N and I knew she liked depth in her stories. She was like me in that sense, superficial books did nothing for us. I was starting to get worried about not being able to find a single book for her when, at the top of a shelf, almost hidden from the public view, I found it.

\- "Alright." -I picked the book carefully, blowing a bit on it to take off the dust- "Here."

\- "Okay, let me see." -she took it delicately- " _The Book Thief_ , by Markus Zusak." -she eyed me, tilting her head- "Is this an insinuation of shorts?"

\- "Maybe." -I chuckled, shrugging my shoulders and starting to walk away.

\- "I'm pretty sure I've given you all your books back."

\- "Just take it, read it, and tell me what you think once you're done tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded, running her fingers over the cover. I knew she was going to like the book just like I knew she'd devour it during the night; I was surprised I hadn't given it to her earlier for I could see a lot of similarities between Y/N and Liesel. We walked to the front desk to write my name as the one taking the book and paying the small fee that it costed to take books out. It was a truly small price to pay to see the smile in Y/N's face as she started reading and got engrossed in the story.

I instinctively took her hand in mine as we walked out, realizing what I was doing way after I had done it, but Y/N didn't seem to mind, walking beside me with her beautiful smile on her face, hugging the precious book to her chest. I smiled, looking at the floor for a second before guiding her to her favorite spot, her favorite spot that had also become mine: a window with a seat that overlooked the Earth.

\- "Now this is how you end a birthday." -she chuckled, letting go of my hand and sitting down- "Come on, you're going to read to me now, mister 'my taste in books is impeccable'."

\- "You want me to read you a book like if I were to put you to sleep?"

\- "I want you to read because I like your voice." -she handed me the book as I sat on the floor with my back to the seat in which Y/N was- "I also know you like reading out loud so this is my birthday present for you."

I chuckled, shaking my head and opening the book. I had read it so many times I was certain I could almost narrate it without the need to read it. I looked up at her once more, smiling as she was already looking outside, my eyes on her going unnoticed, wishing I could take a picture of her, wishing I could keep her like that forever.

We read a couple of chapters, Y/N's hand at some point rested on my shoulder as she leaned back against the window's frame, stretching out her legs over the bench; I felt the need to take her hand and interlace our fingers together but I didn't want to ruin the peaceful atmosphere around us so I simply stood there, reading for her, feeling her thumb ever so often rubbing my skin over my jacket.

\- "And I'm going to leave it there." -I closed the book, Y/N quickly looking down at me.

\- "Wait, what? Why?" -she pouted- "I was enjoying this."

\- "Because I want you to read it on your own and then tell me what you think; I want you to get in the story."

\- "I was in the story!" -she chuckled, sitting straight, crossing her legs and patting the bench in front of her- "Are you sure this is not because you got bored?"

\- "Me? Bored of reading?" -I eyed her as I sat in front of her, handing her the book- "You're funny."

\- "I am."

She smiled as she grabbed it, her fingers brushing against mine for just a second, a wave of electricity traveling down my spine. I had to look away, trying to hide how I was feeling.

\- "I'd like to have a library of my own." -she spoke again, gaining my attention, making me look at her- "You know, like the ones they talk about it books."

\- "Yeah."

\- "Imagine having a whole wall of books from bottom to top." -she took a deep breath, smiling as she hugged the book- "I'd die."

\- "Maybe one day."

\- "Not in this lifetime, Bellamy. Not in the Ark."

\- "Maybe down there."

\- "I wish we could get down; like, I know the radiation would kill us but imagine living down there, all the greenery, the water, the space, the freedom..."

\- "I'd like that too."

\- "Imagine if we could live up here like they did down there." -she continued, clearly far lost in her daydream- "Able to own books for real, having your own place without getting it checked and inspected every two days like we are war criminals. Imagine just being able to do whatever the hell you wanted, live like you wanted, with who you wanted."

\- "Yeah," -I smiled, seeing the picture of all I wanted right in front of me, clear as day- "we could move in together and we could have our own library and..."

\- "Hold up." -she cut me off before I could finish- "Did you just way 'we could move in together'?"

I swear my heart stopped beating for a second seeing the questioning look in her eyes as I realized what I had just said. I tried to think of something, anything that could make this better. _I shouldn't have said that. How am I going to save this?_

\- "Bell?"

\- "I meant as friends, you know, since we are not really good at keeping relationships up..."

_As friends? Out of all the things you could've said you choose that? Great job._

\- "You do realize that's not a real option up here, right? As much as we are just making things up." -she eyed me with careful eyes and a glint of something else I was too nervous to catch- "Why did you really say that?"

\- "Forget it." -I brushed it off, clearing my throat and sitting back against the window's frame- "I don't know what I'm saying anymore, it's been a long day."

\- "You're a lot of things but a good liar is not one of them." -a smile took over her lips and I swear for a second everything felt better- "You can tell me."

I didn't know what to say. Confessing how I felt seemed like a terrible option; I didn't want to ruin her birthday by throwing it at her, she'd remember this day for the rest of her life as the day that Bellamy Blake decided his feelings were more important than allowing her best friend to have a good time. Dammit. _I'm such an idiot._

\- "Is it because you think that'll be the best way to keep O safe?"

My eyes snapped back at her, seeing her smile drop as she sat back on her place, clearly disappointed, moving her eyes to look out of the window. I couldn't believe she'd think I'd use her like that, I couldn't believe she was thinking that I was putting my problems before her happiness, before her own life. That hurt me deeply and I didn't want her to think like that; it was clear now I only had one option so I braced myself, taking a deep breath.

\- "That's not why I said it, Y/N."

\- "It's fine, I understand."

\- "No, I swear that's not what I meant, I... I can't believe I'm doing this on your birthday."

\- "Doing what?" -she sat forward, her hands almost touching mine- "It's just another day if you really think about it. I promise I won't get mad." -she took my hand in hers- "Did something happen?"

\- "No, Y/N, everything is fine."

\- "But we want things to go perfectly fine, so what's missing."

 _You._ The only thing that was missing in my life was being loved like I loved her. Love like thinking of losing her, of her getting hurt caused me pain like I couldn't handle. Love like I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. Love like I wanted to be just hers, to feel her arms around my torso, to dance with her in our room under the stars and kiss her and... I was just missing her allowing me to love her out in the open like I already did in private.

\- "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately" -I started, trying to think of the best way not to make a fool of myself- "and I've realized a couple of things."

\- "Alright, that's good."

\- "I've realized that I'm not a kid anymore and I've started thinking about the future; about the future I want to make for myself." -she nodded, looking at me with such undivided attention, I kinda just wanted to kiss her- "And I know exactly what I want that future to look like now."

\- "Okay, what does that have to do with me."

\- "I want you in my future, Y/N."

\- "And I want you in mine, Bell, don't you ever doubt that."

\- "But I'm afraid it's not in the same way." -I couldn't fight the sad smile on my lips, squeezing her hand for a moment- "I want you to be my future."

Her eyes widened slightly but she didn't move away; she didn't let go of my hand, she didn't run away, she didn't laugh, she didn't mock me, she didn't push me away or curse me for ruining her day. The longer she kept quiet, the more anxious I felt about all of this; it had been a mistake, the biggest mistake of my life, losing her to my own lack of self-awareness was the worst possible scenario. I felt her fingers squeezing my hand, her eyes moving from one of mine to the other, a smile taking over her lips.

\- "You're right. Today is not an ordinary day; I will forever remember this moment."

\- "Y/N, I'm sorry I ruined..."

\- "Hey." -she let go of my hand, rising up from her place and moving to stand between my legs as I rested my back on the window, taking my face in her hands- "You haven't ruined anything."

\- "But..."

\- "I want you to be my future, Bellamy Blake." -she sat on my lap, her words hitting my ears as I instinctively moved my hands to her hips- "I've wanted it for a while now but I was afraid."

\- "Afraid?"

\- "Terrified that you would never love me like I love you."

I felt my whole body coming back to life, holding her close to me, just getting lost in her eyes, realizing now what that glint in her eyes from before was: hope; hope for me to reciprocate her feelings, hope for her dreams to come true, hope for me to be hers. And I was dying to give her all of that.

I moved my hands to the back of her neck, allowing her to wrap her arms around mine as I pulled her closer, eyeing her lips, seeing the smile in them as she chuckled, closing the space between us, our lips finally meeting for the first time, feeling like everything was irrevocably falling into place. I moved my hand to the side of her neck, pecking her lips softly, not wanting to rush anything now, savoring every second of this, running my thumb over her jaw.

\- "You've made this the best day of my life." -she smiled, resting her head on my shoulder, her nose caressing my neck as I rubbed her back- "And here I was thinking today was going to be a pretty standard birthday."

\- "I can't believe I didn't realize..."

\- "I'm good at hiding things, you know?" -she pulled back to meet my gaze- "I didn't want to lose you."

\- "I felt the exact same way."

\- "Well, then I'm terribly glad it slipped off your tongue, otherwise we'd have gone about our lives like two idiots."

\- "We are two idiots." -I chuckled, hoping this moment could last forever, not wanting to ever let go of her.

\- "Yeah," -she curled her fingers on my hair- "two idiots that will at some point move in together."

\- "If you'd make me the honor of being my girl."

\- "You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear that."

\- "So, is that a yes?"

\- "Yes, Bellamy," -she pecked my lips- "I'll be your girlfriend."

\- "My lover."

\- "Well, that's even better."

**\---------------------------------**

***FLASHFORWARD*** **_\- 1 month after the events at Mount Weather_ **

**YOUR POV**

Life was finally falling into place again. Everyone around the camp had recovered their smile, friends and families reunited, everyone slowly but surely healing from their wounds. I was healing from my own too, having thought for so long that I had lost Bellamy after he told me he had to leave with Octavia; I had been heartbroken, all that time not knowing if I'd ever see him again had been a nightmare but, once we found each other after I came down with the rest of the ark, I had cried in his arms for a long time. I never wanted to feel like that again.

\- "Love?"

I rose my eyes from the water ahead of me, moving my face to the side and covering my eyes from the sun to find Bellamy standing beside me, sitting next to me with a smile on his face.

\- "You alright?"

\- "Yeah." -I smiled, resting my head on his shoulder as he pulled me to him- "I was just thanking whoever was listening that we're back together."

\- "And we're not separating again, I promise."

He kissed my head, interlacing his fingers with mine, a comfortable silence falling between us. I was so thankful that everyone I knew back in the Ark was okay, Octavia was so different than from the first time I saw her but she was so strong; I was so proud of her. And her boyfriend, Lincoln, I was overjoyed that she had finally found complete happiness, that she had found freedom in the place that was supposed to be her tomb.

\- "Are you free?" -Bellamy whispered again, making me turn to look at him.

\- "Yeah, why?" -I rose an eyebrow his way- "Hunting trip?"

\- "No." -he chuckled, raising from the ground- "I have a surprise for you." -he offered me his hand to stand up, grinning at me as I took it.

\- "Can I get a clue?"

\- "You don't have to guess," -he pulled his arm over my shoulder- "I'm going to show you now."

\- "That works too."

I laughed, moving my arm around his waist and letting him guide me wherever he wanted me to be, entering the ship and walking around for a moment before he stopped and asked me to close my eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows but conceded nonetheless as I saw the excitement in his eyes, allowing him to pull me the last couple of steps before he made me stop, making me turn to the side.

\- "Ready?"

\- "For you? Always."

He chuckled beside me, discerning a door opening in front of me, Bellamy's hands on mine again, guiding me forward, coming to a stop again, hearing him moving around me and the door closing.

\- "Open your eyes."

I did as asked, blinking a couple of times to get used to the change in lighting, moving my eyes around the place. It was a room. A smile took over my lips as I realized what this meant, seeing also a small library to one side, walking up to it and running my fingers over the books on it, recognizing most of them, feeling like I was going to cry, turning around to find Bellamy's eager eyes on me, closing the space between us and jumping on his arms; he started laughing with me, spinning us both around as he wrapped his arms around my waist. Our future together, what we had been dreaming of, it was finally here. I took his face in my hands, kissing him as he put me on the floor again, unable to hide the excitement I felt.

\- "We are actually moving in together, what do you know?"

\- "Yeah, and we are building our own collection."

\- "Nothing would make me happier."

\- "And it's only taken us two years."

\- "Two years, thinking I had lost you, thinking you were dead, finding you and then losing you all over again."

\- "But we found each other again and that's all that matters." -he moved his hands to my hips, pulling me closer to him, having to move my head back to keep eye contact- "Right?"

\- "You're all that matters to me."

I moved my hand through his hair, trying to move his locks away from his face but the curls seemed to like being all over his forehead, almost getting into his eyes; he closed his eyes as I moved my other hand up, humming in approval as I chuckled, allowing him to pull me even closer, wrapping my arms around his neck as he slowly swayed us from side to side, his chin over my head. Everything that had happened to us had brought us here and, somehow, I was grateful for all of it, finding Bellamy in the chaos that the Mountain had been had brought me peace of mind, relief and his hands on my face and his lips on mine had brought me back to life.

\- "I love you, Y/N."

I pulled back to find his eyes after he kissed my forehead, adoring the smile on his lips as he looked down at me with such adoration in his eyes that I could have melted right there; I pulled him closer to me, whispering against his lips before he kissed me.

\- "I love you too, Bellamy."

**Author's Note:**

> ****
> 
> **🌿Hope you enjoyed this as much as I do.🌿**
> 
> **Leave me some comments with your thoughts or just tell me how you're holding up.**  
> 


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